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| Sleeping Beauty...Wake up...wake up everyone is waiting for you. Your kind words gave me the strength I needed to keep on going.
 Stress, what is stress? A feeling in which you feel overworked, tired, or worried. An emotion with the intention of either consuming you whole or keep you on your toes. Each of us takes stress differently. Some of us are ready and some of us are not. Most of us have more on our plate than others, however no matter how big or small we all experience it at least once in our lives. Imagine a week in where you had tons of things you had to accomplish. One thing after another, piling up and you only had a limited number of time to compete each one. You feel so overwhelmed that even you yourself could not handle it. Who do you turn to when it gets tough? Who? Last week and this week was a stressful one. My stress level has gotten so far that even I couldn’t handle it. Normally I am able to handle stress with such ease, but now I feel lost. There are many reasons to why I was feeling this way.
One, even though I’m not the maid of honor and my sister Carmen is, I still feel stressed out. The stories she tells me, I don’t know why but I feel some sort of connection. A connection in where I feel involved with each step that she took. Last Friday, on the sixth of February, I believe she showed me the center pieces that day. Carmen had shown them to me to get a second option. Being an artist slash graphic designer she thought and felt safe from my opinion. The center piece was a clear see through vase. Medium in height, around the middle was two neatly tied ribbons, one was red the other was white. Inside were white and red stones filling the vase halfway. Before she let me speak she immediately said it was ugly. I was speechless of course. In my mind I was confused. How  could she say such a thing? You’re speaking in a different language that I can’t understand. Did I hear correctly? Indeed I have, she said what she felt and meant it. Being the oldest in my family, I did what any older sister would have done. Speaking calmly and confident. My words came out without me having to think about it twice. “That is where you are wrong. What you have here is beautiful, so don’t tell me otherwise. Relax and breathe. If the bride and groom do not like it, don’t take it personally. You did fine.” I said as I looked at her and then back at the vase she made with such care. She nodded and seemed to take my words seriously. Granted, Carmen still had her worries, but I myself feel tired and about to pull my hair out. I can’t wait when all of this wedding planning is over.
Two, I missed school on Monday the ninth because of some reaction I had from a shot I had on Sunday. I fell ill and had a fever, so naturally I was absent for both of my classes, which was music and two dimensional art. At the moment I didn’t care of why I got sick, all I wanted was to feel better again. Before going back to my music class on Wednesday I emailed my teacher Mr. Rose, my music instructor. However the mail service had said the user you tried to email does not exist. I tried again and again, typing out my explanation of why I was absent, but that failed. So Tuesday I called him about why I was absent and the dilemma I was having on my quizzes. Since I hadn’t had music in forever it was like I was starting all over from beginning, having to learn the terminology of  music all over again. He understood and said we were going to discuss more on this subject later tomorrow. After that I started studying even harder for that quiz I missed on Monday. I wrote and rewrote till each word, vocabulary was in my memory. That Tuesday night I still had things to accomplish and get done. I was constantly worrying about each class. Was I doing well? Am I going to fail? Will I pass each one with a decent grade? Not to mention that final exit exam I must take for English. Everything depended on me to go on in the world. I was ready but was I really? Maybe I lost something along the way after high school. Worry…worry that was all I was doing lately. Sad but true.
Finally the day arrived where I had to take my music quiz. I was ready to go and willing to give this memory of mine a shot to get a good enough grade on this test. On my way to school, Carmen behind the wheel, I studied. As I studied I was listening to relaxing music on my red, medium sized sansa mp3 player. I synchronized the music onto my mp3 player. The cd is called Best of Massage and Meditation Disc 2 and it contained the sounds of soft lightning and rain drops with also a few piano notes playing in the background. Really peaceful and helpful for any hard task I must complete. I used this to my advantage when I was younger at middle school. I mainly used those sounds on homework, speeches, and tests. Used it in anything that I felt I needed to help me calm myself down. I came to class extra early to get this test over with. I was confident I was going to do very well on this exam. I was so focused that when I began to take this quiz I knew each term that was on the white sheet of paper. I turned it in after I checked it and sat happily in my seat. My instructor asked if my way of studying helped me. I nodded and said yes. In the long run I knew very well I had passed with flying colors. 
Finally three, in my two dimensional art class there are several things that I don’t like. I could talk about the conflicts I had, but I thought it would make me a complainer, a person who would constantly complain without trying first. So I tried each art project that was laid in front of me first. I tried it but am still not happy with the results. In each of our projects we have to make four rough sketches. In high school, not to be cocky, I was trained to do one rough sketch, pick my colors, and work on the final piece. I understand that each instructor has their rules and I will abide to each one, but this one will be difficult to follow.
In conclusion my week and last week was a stressful one. Normally, as I’ve said before I can handle the pressure, but it overcame me and I cried. Don’t take pity on me because the crying actually helped me. It took most if not all I had bottled up inside. My family, friends, and people that I don’t know have helped me greatly. Their words gave me the strength I needed to go forward.
Thank you all for your kind words, they really helped me. <3 Without you I don't know where I would be right now.
Happy Late Valentines Day!!! :3 Oh, went to my friends wedding I helped planned alongside with my sister yesterday as well. Everything went great and had fun. A little peeping perverts but oh well i guess my outfit complimented my body very well. And no it was not revealing. T_T I'll maybe post up the video my sister took of me while I tried to hide. Who knows. <_<
[X]Everina {DNANEL ICON MADE BY ME ~ SPECIAL A ICON MADE BY CATALYSIS} | | |
| Please back off!!!I think I'm falling apart...my heart is going to break.
So uh…yeah the meaning of my name Estella in Spanish means Star and in French Bright star. As mentioned by Maryweather that is where Bright Star Designs was born from. Also to the fact that I love stars and used them as my mini signature in my graphic class. My mother named me after her sister and my father after his mother. I’m  very honored and glad to have this name. Although at times I hate it but I’m ok with it. So many things behind this name, memories, stories and such but I won’t get into this because you’ll have a essay on your hands. Lmao!
My life is very stressful right now. I don’t even know when I’ll open Bright Star Designs or complete some of the things I promised for some of you. I understand some of you have held out your patience (will not name who) but you have to understand I have a life too. When I do graphics it sometimes takes me a while to complete it, especially if they're layouts. If you want them to be beautiful and nice then wait unless you want me to rush and have them looking ugly. Also my art class has been a pain in the you know what. I enjoy it don’t get me wrong but right now as it progresses I feel as though they’re taking the most important thing and turning it not so fun anymore. Music, I have some tests I have to study for and English is alright not too much work here. Last week and the opening of school again took most of my energy away from me. More than the last trimester, so I’m sorry if I’m late and I’m slow. One of my siblings is almost completely gone, she has changed and turning very rebellious. Getting into trouble, so she is the important person I want to work with right now. Been feeling rather stressed and haven’t been sleeping well even though I told everyone I’m ok. I may or may not quit my graphic xanga journal who knows. However if that does occur I’ll just have this site opened and my other ones that I currently have. Not to mention I’m helping someone plan their wedding. =O So you can understand my stress point. Hopefully you all do. X_x I think I’m going to die, not literally but you know what I mean.
As of right now and the rest of the week I am currently making a new layout for Despair because I wanted to. *sticks out tongue* and giving myself a nice place to rest. T_T
[X]Everina {Icon made by me!}
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| So many things I wish I could tell you First I’d like to say Happy Birthday Wooya Pooya!!! I must make you a gift and no, no’s. lol. I have to find an image first. XD It’s crazy that you’re already 18 years old, time sure flew on by. Hope you’ve had a good one.
Happy very b-lated New Year’s everyone. This year started out well except with a few problems at home but I’m doing ok. A little stress here and there but I know everything will clear up soon. I’m still alive, no? I’m sorry I haven’t been online kind of got caught up with a few things. Yesterday was the start of school for me. Lucky, huh? Ah anyway I hope everyone is doing well in their classes and such. Also read through some of your weblogs on my email, glad everyone is doing well.
Ok so yesterday was my first back to school, a little odd since I felt so comfortable at home. I only had one class yesterday but was still tired. I slept late and everything surprisingly came out alright. With a few exceptions, such as my clock not waking me up and almost forgot my schedule. The class, English starts off very early, perhaps way too early for me. At around eight it starts. Funny because m body was used to waking up at that time but yesterday was another story. Anyway, the class was fine, funny, and I think I’ll fit in nicely. Our teacher wanted everyone to introduce themselves. The game was called “The Name Game”; we tell the class our name, who were we named after, how we got it, nicknames, funny stories, what it meant and anything else we had in mind. I already knew what my name means, Estella means star in Spanish or bright star in French (or so I heard). I’m thinking of tell you all more about this later. Maybe in a separate entry, who knows. The entire class period was dedicated in introducing ourselves. It was interesting to hear how each person’s name came to be.  Very interesting…
Today was just awesome. I’m telling you I got the amazing classes this term. I’m getting goosebumps. Uh..yeah forgot to mention what they were except English. On Mondays and Wednesdays are American Music and Two Dimensional Art. Tuesdays and Thursdays is English.
Back to what I was talking about, my first class today, Music was not what I expected. When I applied for the course I thought I was going to have to learn how to play an instrument. Which is fine but not too sure if I’d do well. The class kept me awake and interesting. It’s about American music history. I just wish they added the history part in the schedule. Oh well. Either way I can’t wait to learn how music all started.
The two dimensional art class had a beautiful room when I came in I was so amazed I might have scared the teacher a bit. It had tons of space for anyone to do their projects. Very colorful room I might add. A place even I can explore my artistic abilities. I was the first to arrive and got to know the teacher a bit while I waited. At first when the two teachers explained about the course I was intimidated but I was excited to get this class started. Already I have homework. But it’s going to be fun.
 ***BRIGHT STAR DESIGNS (NEWS!!!) : Now to the past stuff, first I’d like to say that I’m sorry that I haven’t had the time to open Bright Star Designs back up again. I was caught up in my other site Despair, forums, chatting with my friends, and living the life before school started up again. However I’m going to make a great effort on working on BSD before the month is done. Hopefully I can accomplish that. ( I need help x-x )
On Christmas I received so many gifts which surpassed what I thought I was going to get. My sister got me a drawing pad when I opened it I totally gave her so much hugs. Hey you can’t blame me or being happy. Lol! My two siblings got me a game called Persona 4 (hooked, your fault Chris I tell ya. XD) My dad got me a new Playstation 2 because my other one died. I had it since 7th grade. I didn’t know I was going to have it with me and still kicking for that amount of time. Good to start off fresh, no? My mom got me cute things for my room, hair, and other stuff.
I got everyone what they wanted on their list. Had a empty pocket but was glad to see wonderful smiles on their faces. ;]
I suppose that’s it for now. Sorry for the very long entry. :P
[X]Everina (icon made by me visit despair when you have the chance.)
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| Things that are 100% completeHere's what I've done so far to get BSD back on its feet. I'm completely free from college so I'm going to work my hardest to get everything done in time. :D
& Layout Design for Bright Star Designs – 100% complete
& Coding Of BSD’s New Layout – 100% complete
& Adding the layout to each BSD page 100% complete (that's excluding BSD's main page)
& New Icons – 100% complete
& 3 New Layouts – 0% complete
& 3 New wallpapers – 80% complete
& Tutorials – 0% complete (Hopefully I can get those in before opening BSD back again. If you have any suggestions drop a note.)
[X]Everina
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| I'll be your vampire...will you let me bite you?Man, oh man it’s been a while. I’ve been mainly busy with school and getting odds and ends at my other website, Despair. Which you all should visit by the way and oh I’ve updated my xanga with a new look. Finally the layout works both in IE and FF. Horary, finally no more having to switch here or there. I was going for a winter kind of layout but got carried away. It took me some time to get this done. I thought I was going to have it done by  December the 16th but didn’t have the time. Uh...as always I couldn’t resist the dark colors. I found a really neat image while image hunting and found Kaname and Zero (the middle image) and couldn’t help but make a layout out of it somehow. The text was totally random on my part. I was listening to relaxing music and thought how both Kaname/ Zero cared for Yukki a lot I tried to come up with some text that would portray their feelings towards her. I think I had t re-due this layout like four or five times because they didn’t work out as planned, but I finally got it how I wanted. Also a big plus of having the layout to work in both IE and FF. I’ve added a shoutbox for you all out there to drop me message quickly now and then. Rather than having to sign in into xanga. I’ve added the three most visited sites that I own on the top of the shoutbox. Just click away and you’ll land in magic land. Enjoy the newly created layout!
As for college I took one of my finals on Monday I get my results today by e-mail. I’m so anxious I think I’m going to pass out before opening the e-mail. Yesterday my sister and I were supposed to take our Reading final exam but our teacher decided not to give us them. I thought at first she was joking but that’s Patty for ya. Always unexpected but I’m glad she didn’t at least I got a break from this entire test taking madness. But today I don’t  need to go to school seeing as my Monday and Wednesday classes has already ended. So today I’m just going to chill, study a little bit and help around the house. Once I take this final test Christmas/New Year break will begin for me. Yay! I got everything ready to go. Can’t wait, I’m too excited. T_T
Other than that since I got Despair out of my system I can finally continue working on BSD’s updates and such. Here’s what you’ll expect once I reopen it.
& Layout Design for Bright Star Designs – 100% complete
& Coding Of BSD’s New Layout – 50% complete
& New Icons – 100% complete
& 3 New Layouts – 0% complete
& 3 New wallpapers – 80% complete
& Tutorials – 0% complete (Hopefully I can get those in before opening BSD back again. If you have any suggestions drop a note.)
Umm..I guess that’s it for now. I’ll post another update on how BSD is doing.
If I don’t make it in time I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
P.S. I got to buy/watch Wall-e, awesome and cute story!!!
[X]Everina {Icon made by me!}
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![Juvinille Orion Fansite ;]](http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g44/Everina_Darklight/mokora_ajo50x50a.gif)
