| | Wake up...wake up everyone is waiting for you. Your kind words gave me the strength I needed to keep on going.
 Stress, what is stress? A feeling in which you feel overworked, tired, or worried. An emotion with the intention of either consuming you whole or keep you on your toes. Each of us takes stress differently. Some of us are ready and some of us are not. Most of us have more on our plate than others, however no matter how big or small we all experience it at least once in our lives. Imagine a week in where you had tons of things you had to accomplish. One thing after another, piling up and you only had a limited number of time to compete each one. You feel so overwhelmed that even you yourself could not handle it. Who do you turn to when it gets tough? Who? Last week and this week was a stressful one. My stress level has gotten so far that even I couldn’t handle it. Normally I am able to handle stress with such ease, but now I feel lost. There are many reasons to why I was feeling this way.
One, even though I’m not the maid of honor and my sister Carmen is, I still feel stressed out. The stories she tells me, I don’t know why but I feel some sort of connection. A connection in where I feel involved with each step that she took. Last Friday, on the sixth of February, I believe she showed me the center pieces that day. Carmen had shown them to me to get a second option. Being an artist slash graphic designer she thought and felt safe from my opinion. The center piece was a clear see through vase. Medium in height, around the middle was two neatly tied ribbons, one was red the other was white. Inside were white and red stones filling the vase halfway. Before she let me speak she immediately said it was ugly. I was speechless of course. In my mind I was confused. How  could she say such a thing? You’re speaking in a different language that I can’t understand. Did I hear correctly? Indeed I have, she said what she felt and meant it. Being the oldest in my family, I did what any older sister would have done. Speaking calmly and confident. My words came out without me having to think about it twice. “That is where you are wrong. What you have here is beautiful, so don’t tell me otherwise. Relax and breathe. If the bride and groom do not like it, don’t take it personally. You did fine.” I said as I looked at her and then back at the vase she made with such care. She nodded and seemed to take my words seriously. Granted, Carmen still had her worries, but I myself feel tired and about to pull my hair out. I can’t wait when all of this wedding planning is over.
Two, I missed school on Monday the ninth because of some reaction I had from a shot I had on Sunday. I fell ill and had a fever, so naturally I was absent for both of my classes, which was music and two dimensional art. At the moment I didn’t care of why I got sick, all I wanted was to feel better again. Before going back to my music class on Wednesday I emailed my teacher Mr. Rose, my music instructor. However the mail service had said the user you tried to email does not exist. I tried again and again, typing out my explanation of why I was absent, but that failed. So Tuesday I called him about why I was absent and the dilemma I was having on my quizzes. Since I hadn’t had music in forever it was like I was starting all over from beginning, having to learn the terminology of  music all over again. He understood and said we were going to discuss more on this subject later tomorrow. After that I started studying even harder for that quiz I missed on Monday. I wrote and rewrote till each word, vocabulary was in my memory. That Tuesday night I still had things to accomplish and get done. I was constantly worrying about each class. Was I doing well? Am I going to fail? Will I pass each one with a decent grade? Not to mention that final exit exam I must take for English. Everything depended on me to go on in the world. I was ready but was I really? Maybe I lost something along the way after high school. Worry…worry that was all I was doing lately. Sad but true.
Finally the day arrived where I had to take my music quiz. I was ready to go and willing to give this memory of mine a shot to get a good enough grade on this test. On my way to school, Carmen behind the wheel, I studied. As I studied I was listening to relaxing music on my red, medium sized sansa mp3 player. I synchronized the music onto my mp3 player. The cd is called Best of Massage and Meditation Disc 2 and it contained the sounds of soft lightning and rain drops with also a few piano notes playing in the background. Really peaceful and helpful for any hard task I must complete. I used this to my advantage when I was younger at middle school. I mainly used those sounds on homework, speeches, and tests. Used it in anything that I felt I needed to help me calm myself down. I came to class extra early to get this test over with. I was confident I was going to do very well on this exam. I was so focused that when I began to take this quiz I knew each term that was on the white sheet of paper. I turned it in after I checked it and sat happily in my seat. My instructor asked if my way of studying helped me. I nodded and said yes. In the long run I knew very well I had passed with flying colors. 
Finally three, in my two dimensional art class there are several things that I don’t like. I could talk about the conflicts I had, but I thought it would make me a complainer, a person who would constantly complain without trying first. So I tried each art project that was laid in front of me first. I tried it but am still not happy with the results. In each of our projects we have to make four rough sketches. In high school, not to be cocky, I was trained to do one rough sketch, pick my colors, and work on the final piece. I understand that each instructor has their rules and I will abide to each one, but this one will be difficult to follow.
In conclusion my week and last week was a stressful one. Normally, as I’ve said before I can handle the pressure, but it overcame me and I cried. Don’t take pity on me because the crying actually helped me. It took most if not all I had bottled up inside. My family, friends, and people that I don’t know have helped me greatly. Their words gave me the strength I needed to go forward.
Thank you all for your kind words, they really helped me. <3 Without you I don't know where I would be right now.
Happy Late Valentines Day!!! :3 Oh, went to my friends wedding I helped planned alongside with my sister yesterday as well. Everything went great and had fun. A little peeping perverts but oh well i guess my outfit complimented my body very well. And no it was not revealing. T_T I'll maybe post up the video my sister took of me while I tried to hide. Who knows. <_<
[X]Everina {DNANEL ICON MADE BY ME ~ SPECIAL A ICON MADE BY CATALYSIS} |
| | Posted 2/15/2009 12:24 PM - 64 Views - 10 eProps - 6 comments
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